Brave

I was singing this song around the house this evening...

Me: "Ahhhh I have to listen to that song!"

Hubs: "Yes, please do. So you can stop singing."

Me: *dying of laughter* "YOU'RE SO MEAN!!!"

On a different note, I realise it's kind of been a long time since I blogged... I'll rectify it soon, promise. I know it's been ages when my mother emails me to tell me that she keeps checking my blog for new posts but finds nothing LOL!! Love her :)

It's been busy over here, and so cold that there's been nothing much to report. I hope everyone who's suffering this cold is keeping warm and staying safely indoors if they can help it. And I hope everyone's been having a wonderful new year so far :) We rang in the new year with good friends and Seinfeld. Par-tay!

Fried Eggs And Peanut Butter

I asked the hubs if he wanted something to eat. He asked if I'd make a fried egg sandwich. With peanut butter. I thought he was trying to be funny. He was not.

Me: "Seriously?"
Hubs: "Yeah! It's good!"
Me: "Uhhh... okaaaaay... So, umm, do I put peanut butter on one side or both?"
Hubs: "Just one side."
Me: "Yeah. Because both would just be disgusting."

Insert eye roll.

Apparently his family likes to eat this. We've been together over seven years and I've never known him to do this. Suddenly it's a family tradition. What. Also, he informed me that I'd made the egg wrongly. Umm, he ordered wrongly. You want it sunny side up, you say sunny side up. Duh. Do you know how difficult it would've been to fit FOUR eggs sunny side up on bread??? He'd have to eat it between two pieces of naan hehehe

I watched him eat it. I kept laughing and taking pictures because I couldn't believe someone would willingly eat that. I mean, I'm Chinese, so admittedly, I eat a lot of weird shit. But eggs + peanut butter = no. Jellyfish? Always yes.

Bowling Is Funny. Sometimes.

The hubs somehow got roped into a bowling league. And when I say roped in, I mean he kept saying 'yes' until he realised he was a part of a bowling league. And then I laughed, and I laughed. Oh how I laughed.

So anyway, the guys were discussing their team name, and this conversation ensued...

Hubs: "I've come up with Snakes On A Lane, Bowling Stones and Ebowla."
D: "I like Ebowla!"
J: "I like Ebowla too. It's infectious!"

HAHAHAHA! Too damn funny!

Unfortunately, the bowling league has been put on hold. I say unfortunately because us wives and girlfriends had decided to get together while they were bowling and have our own bit of fun. The reason they're not able to start with the league is that they need to have one female bowler on their team. Which means none of us are making eye contact with the boys for a long, long time :)


Picture is from here.

Who?

This advert makes me giggle because it reminds me of the hubs and I (the owl bit, that is!). I feel like I've had that exact conversation soooo many times because there'd be people we've met several times but he'd have no memory of them whatsoever. Or he'll totally blank on people's names. How?!?! It's 49% annoying and 51% adorable...  but 100% ridiculous.

Also, I'd sometimes refer to my Mum as an owl because I'd be talking to someone about whatever, and she would insist on knowing what we're talking about ASAP. "Who?! Who?! Who?!", she'd cry. Like an adorable little nosy owl! :)

Have a great weekend, everyone!!!

Blind As A Bat

I tend to give the hubs grief about not being observant because he just doesn't notice things that are blatantly obvious. And when he's helping me put things away in the kitchen, he still asks where things go. After five and a half years. At least moving to a new house won't undo any 'training' huh? hehe

Well, anyway, I think maybe I'm not going to get annoyed with him too much anymore because the other day...

Me: "You know what I'm really going to miss in the new house? Having a ceiling fan in the bedroom."
Hubs: "Umm, there IS a ceiling fan in our new bedroom."
Me: "Umm. No, there isn't."
Hubs: "Yes, there is."
Me: "Don't you think I would remember that!"
Hubs: "There issssss!"
*Searching for pictures of the bedroom*
Me: "Oh... Yes... There is a fan... HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT? ARE YOU MORE OBSERVANT THAN ME NOW?!? OMG."
Hubs: "Yup."

There it is. Bloody giant fan that you cannot miss. Wow. I know I need glasses but geez, how'd I miss that?!?! I mean, seriously!?! Well, if you need me, I'll be the one in the corner poking my eyes out with a blunt spoon.

(That's a picture from the listing... the walls are now WHITE! Woot woot! I'm not a fan of brown so every brown wall has been eradicated. Plus the candy colours on the kids' walls. Because yikes.)

I'm Officially Scared

This morning...

Hubs: "Hey, what are we doing this weekend?"
Me: "Nothing... Northampton on Friday if weather permits, but nothing else. Why?"
Hubs: "I have an idea. You don't need to cook! I'll do the cooking!"
Me: "Wait. What? Explain!" (The man cooks hard boiled eggs and still asks me how...)
Hubs: "Don't worry about it, I have an app!"
Me: "No no, you can't just say you have an app! What is this app? I need more information!"
Hubs: "Don't worry!"
Me: "Uhh, I don't like this..."
Hubs: "You like cauliflower?"
Me: "Yes..."
Hubs: "Okay."
Me: "And??? What are you cooking with the cauliflower!?!"
Hubs: "I don't know yet!"
Me: "It can't just be cauliflower for dinner! There has to be more!"
Hubs: *runs away*
Me: *to self* "Sooooo... I need to cook something to freeze before the weekend..."

This is going to be very, very bad. Very. Bad. Indeed.

Binary This

We were in the car, and I probably said something snarky / rude / sarcastic (imagine that)...

Hubs: "Unbelievable. You are unbelievable. The binary code for 'unbelievable' is 0110101011*."
Me: *glare* "What's the binary code for idiot?
Hubs: *glare*
Me: "Gonna have to blog this one."
Hubs: "Without me, you'd have no blog."
Me: "HAH. I think I'd manage."
Hubs: "No seriously, what would you write about???"
Me: *to myself* "About how I USED to be married..."


* The actual binary code is 011110101 01101110 01100010 01100101 01101100 01101001 01100101 01110110 01100001 01100010 01101100 01100101. You know, just in case some smartarse decides to correct me... haha!

Everyone, Meet Sleeve

The other day I accidentally referred to the hubs as 'Sleeve' instead of Steve. I'm old, it happens. So now I've taken to calling him Sleeve because it's just more fun. He doesn't get it, but that's no reason to stop.

So, the telephone conversation this afternoon...

*ring ring*
Me: "Hey Sleeve."
Him: "Uhhh wait, wait... gimme a minute... Okay. Oh hi FOUNDRY!"
Me: "Dude. Laundry is a more obvious choice."
Him: "Okay, okay! Start over! Hi Laundry!"
Me: "Hi Sleeve..."
Him: *chuckle*

He's lucky I like him.

I'm Really Helpful

Over the long weekend, I made German pancakes. The hubs was home from work so I thought let's make something special. The pancake in front looks all weird because the hubs now asks for cinnamon sprinkled on his pancake before baking. I think it looks like animal print, no?

Anyway, this conversation took place...

Me: "I gave Katy the recipe and she figures that German pancakes are sort of like Yorkshire pudding but sweet. And I think she's right."
Hubs: "What's a Yorkshire pudding?"
Me: "It's like German pancakes, but not sweet."
Hubs: "Thanks?"

:)

Questions To Ponder

Sometimes the hubs rings from work when he's bored or just wants to have a laugh...

Me: "Hi honey, what's up?"
Hubs: "I was just wondering... How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
Me: "Hmmm maybe a quarter of a tonne."
Hubs: "Like a metric tonne or short ton?"
Me: "Well that really depends on the woodchuck, doesn't it?"
Hubs: "Heehee!"
Me: "You're silly."
Hubs: "Goodbye."
Me: "Goodbye."

So silly :)

I Can Haz Swedish

Hubs: *Big sigh* "I'd like to learn Swedish so I can understand that song."
Me: "Umm. You do know you can just get the lyrics and translate them to English, right?"
Hubs: "Oh. Yeah."

Wow.

Anyway, here's the song he speaks of. Ta Det Lugnt by Dungen.

I'd just like to add that the hubs is a very intelligent and erudite man. He does however have the occasional lapse in common sense, resulting in such ridiculousness. Which I like to blog about. But it's part of his charm and I enjoy it thoroughly :) Also, he has a cute bum.

As for the music, I don't geddit. But I did promise in sickness and in health, right? :)

Hey Macarena!

I was sitting in the living room when I heard the faint sound of the hubs singing in the kitchen...

Me: "Are you singing Macarena?!?!"

Hubs: "Uhh... no..."

Me: "You are, aren't you?"

Hubs: "No."

Me: "OMG you were."

Hubs: "I enjoy the Macarena, okay?!"

Me: "You know I have to blog about this."

Hubs: "No please."
Me: "Oh yes please."

Here's the video. We can ick all we want but it's insanely funny. And you know you remember how to dance the bloody Macarena :)

You Know What's Awkward?

When I'm at dinner with two of the hub's cousins, their spouses and children, and I find out that the book my MIL asked for as her birthday gift is actually... um... How do I say this... Erotica.

Erotica!!!

Wanting to die doesn't even begin to explain how I felt. And the poor hubs... He was trying so hard not to choke on his dinner lol!

And then this conversation between the hubs and I followed...
Me: "Umm, honey I already bought the book. It's the first of a trilogy."
Hubs: "She is NOT getting the other two!"

Later on, he got on the phone with his mother to ask her what she's doing with erotica lol Oh honey, sometimes momma needs to have some fun too.

(And yes, the book is Fifty Shades of Grey. Which I'm told is terribly written. But I'm not compelled to find out for myself.)

Farro... F-A-R-R-O

On the way home from dinner one evening...

Hubs: "Do you need to stop anywhere before home?"
Me: "Yeah. Supermarket. I need to get farro."
Hubs: "What?"
Me: "Farro."
Hubs: "What?"
Me: "Farro!"
Hubs: "I can't tell if you're making this up."
Me: "I'm not! It's farro!!! F-A-R-R-O! Farro!"
Hubs: "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Me: "FARRO! IT'S FARRO! OMG!"

And here's what I did with the farro. (Please note that I'm a pretty lousy food stylist... look at all those stray bits... yeesh.) I made a warm salad with sauteed broccoli rabe and diced ham, then threw a couple of fried eggs on top. I didn't make a dressing because I kept the yolks runny so that was more than enough yummy goodness over the farro.

So now the hubs knows what farro is and won't think I'm playing a trick when I put it on the shopping list. He might get it wrong and buy something completely different, but at least he knows I'm not making shit up.

Ryan Gosling... Mine, All Mine

A trailer for Drive came on the telly...

Hubs: "I love this movie!"
Me: "I LOVE RYAN GOSLING!!!"
Hubs: "Me too!"
Me: "No you don't!"
Hubs: "Yes I do!"
Me: "Noooooo!!! You don't love him like I love him!"
Hubs: "Don't you tell me how I love!"

Yup, it was another exciting Saturday evening at Chez Bleu. Jealous?

But seriously...

He's so pretty, it hurts. Hubba hubba.

Picture from here.

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

I made cookies! I don't often bake cookies because baking a cake is a thousand times less tedious. But the hubs sent in a request (by that, I mean he actually emailed me a formal request) for chocolate chip cookies. And since I don't take direction well at all, I made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

They were intended to be oatmeal raisin but I didn't have enough raisins on hand. You should've seen the glee in the hub's face. And it turns out it was a good thing I made them with chocolate chips because we gave some to our friends who don't like raisins. It's strange that anyone would hate raisins (well, my MIL does) but phew!

Nom nom nom :)


And afterwards when we were munching on cookies...

Me: "I think I still prefer oatmeal raisin."
Hubs: "NO. YOU ARE WRONG."
Me: "What?! It's my personal preference!"
Hubs: "You're wrong. WRONG."
Me: "You're telling me my opinion is wrong?"
Hubs: "Yes."
Me: "Your nipples are not level."
Hubs: "What?!?! Bullshit."

Then the conversation included a ruler, a level and picture-taking. I can't be blamed... I have ADD, and he's tall so that's where my eyes rest when I face him.

We're really not for everyone.

Can't Live With Him, Can't Kill Him...

We were watching a recorded episode of SNL where Kate Upton and her boobies made an appearance, and this happened...

Hubs: "Who is THAT?!"
Me: "Kate Upton. She and her tiny bikini are on the cover of Sports Illustrated."
Hubs: "Wow. Is she married?"
Me: "I don't know. But YOU are. So there's that..."

Clearly his wedding band doesn't dig into his damn finger quite enough.

Picture from here.

I Don't Get It

We were at the store, checking out, and the hubs turns to me and starts staring...

Me: "Uhh what?"
Hubs: "In answer to your question from three weeks ago, YES."
Me: "Okaaaay... pray tell, what was the question?"
Hubs: "I don't know. I've always just wanted to say that."
Me: "You're so lucky I can't kill you in public."

I don't know where he comes up with this stuff. Honestly.

True Love

This morning...

Me: "Honey, do you know what today is?"
Hubs: "Yup, I proposed to you on this date."
Me: "Sucker."
Hubs: "I know."
Me: " WHAT!?!"
Hubs: "Yes."
Me: "Ass."

Unctuous

The hubs and I were talking about turnips (don't ask), and I'd said I love how butter makes mashed turnips all yummy and unctuous.

Hubs: "Uhh are you using that word correctly?"
Me: "YES."
Hubs: "Yeaaaah we're going to have to look that up..."
Me: "Excuse me?!?!"

He goes and cracks open the dictionary...

Hubs: "Yeah okay, you were right."
Me: "Duh, of course I was."
Hubs: "Had you worried for a second there, huh?"
Me: "Hell no! I wasn't scared! You can check my liver temperature!"
Hubs: ".........."
Me: "I don't know what that means..."

We have the stupidest conversations of anyone living or dead. I promise.