I've made peace with the fact that I wasn't with my grandma when she passed. I carried that guilt with me for a long time, and something happened last year that let me know she doesn't hold it against me, and that she's always with me. I can't tell you how comforting that is.
There's still times when I can't stop the tears, but mostly, I remember her with a smile. And she's really not so far away... I see her in my sisters and mother. They're generous and loving, just like she was. Plus my mother bugs me about having babies, just like she did :) They say you can't choose your family... I couldn't have chosen any better if I'd done it myself.
Ma, I love you, I miss you, I wish you could be here but I know you're in a better place now. Thanks for watching over all of us, and I'll see what I can do about the babies... Just be patient, okay?
You too, Mum :)
9 comments:
Audrey, I don't it ever gets easier, but it gets different. She looks like she was a beautiful woman inside and out. I think her eyes are beautiful. I miss my grandmas too. I didn't get to see them a lot when I got older, but knowing they were always there was such a comfort. Now I know they wait for me. And that is a comfort too! Thinking of you today!
Your grandma looks like a sweet and caring person- also very pretty! Sweetly said Audrey!
She is beautiful, Audrey. Really. I love what you said about seeing her in your mom and siblings. That is a blessing.
Grandparents don't leave us, they just go away on vacation. Part of her soul is in your heart, nurture that and you'll always have her with you.
She's beautiful. My grandma T died 20 years ago this summer and my grandma N died 8 years ago. I miss them a lot still.
Beautifully written, Audrie.
I, too, lost someone very special to me a while back and although the person is no longer here the love we still have for them seems to grow more each day. Somehow, I am sure that she knows the love you have for her is very strong and will continue to eternity.
*hugs*
Blessings to you as you remember her...I pray for peace for you, and happy memories.
Lea
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